Putin Augustus

A peculiar resemblance has been noted. Russian President Putin looks a lot like Caesar Augustus who ruled the Roman Empire for over 40 years around the time of Jesus' birth. A coincidence?

Merry Christmas!

I pray that this Christmas season is a time of renewed hope for you and those who are close to you. As we reflect together on the mystery and wonder of the Incarnation, I am once again impressed with God’s wisdom and creativity. Faced with the problem of humanity separated from their Creator, God solved it in a divinely wonderful, surprising manner: He became human Himself. In the person of Jesus, God and humanity are finally united. Jesus is the God-man. In Him weary travelers return home. In Him eternity and time come together. In Jesus brokenness is healed and suffering is filled with joy. In Him love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other (Psalm 85:10). Does it not fill your heart with hope? What an amazing expression of Divine love! What an assurance of His commitment to us! God became vulnerable, limited, human because He loves us. Jesus experienced pain and pleasure, rejection and joy of the human existence. He became one of us, in every way like us, except for sin, so we can become like Him. As Kallistos Ware points out, Jesus shows us not only what a loving and creative person God is, but what we can become. He shows us what authentic humanity without sin looks like. By His perfect life and sacrificial death He liberates and spurs us on to become what God has made us to be: people reflecting God’s creativity and grace, full of wonder and hope.
Let’s welcome Jesus into our lives and marvel together at the good news of the One who was “pleased as man with man to dwell – Jesus, our Emmanuel”. Merry Christmas!

Advent Rocks!

I love Advent. It is a season of hope and anticipation. Advent is extending the minute before a child falls asleep on Christmas Eve to four weeks. What a great way to prepare for a Christmas celebration! Our church had our first Advent Sunday service yesterday and it was really cool. Responsive readings, Christmas carols, a special advent prayer, children collecting the offering, the Eucharist... a very meaningful time. After the service we had lunch together and our home group stayed to make cookies.

Following Jesus, Part 8: Poverty of Discipleship

The story of the rich young ruler in Luke 18 is a typical example of Jesus' attitude towards wealth: He doesn't like it. While we are right to point out that it is not money per se that prevents people from following the Teacher, the money seems to make it very difficult. Tim Keller says that money itself is not an idol distracting us from worshipping God but money always points to whatever our idol is. So, what is it that we so easily spend our money on? Entertainment, clothes, education, family, home... Perhaps our idols are self-pleasure, approval of others, respect of others, security...
Well, how can this idolatrous heart be turned to Jesus? He says, it is impossible. Our particular idol cannot be removed but only replaced. So, our only hope is that Jesus forces our idol out of our heart and draws our worship to Himself. He does that by showing us that we are his true wealth, His treasure He died to keep. We marvel at how much Jesus values us and start valuing and worshiping Him. He became poor for us, so that we can become rich in Him. He is our true wealth.

Following Jesus, Part 7: The Cost of Discipleship

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)

It is legitimate and biblical to soften this saying of Jesus by interpreting hatred as a lesser love as compared to the disciple's love for Jesus. It is also appropriate to point out that we must hate the world and its values embraced by our unbelieving relatives. However, I think Jesus does mean a bit more than that. It is clear that He does not call His followers to abandon family and not to love our relatives, since Jesus admonishes us to love even our enemy, much more our children and spouse. But He does call us to hate them in the following two ways.

First, hating your family means to be liberated from captivity to the clan, as Barth puts it. Especially in the communal culture of Jesus' day and in much of the world today, one needs to reject the family's expectations of her, the family's pursuit of wealth, status and so on, to follow Jesus. One should not be defined by his community any longer, but by his communion with Christ. Family, or one's desire to marry and have children, should not lead the disciple away from Christ. Bonhoeffer says, "Every man is called separately and must follow alone.”

Second, hating your family means to be able to genuinely love them. Only admitting that one's family is also one's enemy, you will be able to really love them with the kind of love that Christ loves sinners. When I preached this sermon on Sunday, I called my children enemies of God and my enemies. A bit harsh? Maybe. But unless I see them as rebels against God every time they sin, how can I really love them? Once I recognize them as such, I can be forgiving and compassionate, patient and persistent in bringing them up in the faith.

Barth says that "the coming of the kingdom of God means an end of the absolute of family no less than that of possession and fame". Jesus needs to become our primary relationship. When He was at the wedding at Cana, He knew that He would never get married. When He blessed the children who came to Him, He knew He would never have a child of His own. He was willing to reject His mother and brothers for us. He gave up His family in heaven to become your friend. This should be our motivation to follow Jesus alone.

Following Jesus, Part 6: The Narrow Door

Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.' But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.' Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.' But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!' (Luke 13:24-27)

Jesus says, there are two groups of people: some who want to enter through the narrow door into God's kingdom, but will not be able to, and some who strive to enter through the narrow door and will be accepted at the feast of the kingdom of God. The Didache (an early Christian document) says: “There are two ways, one of life and one of death; and between the two ways there is a great difference.” So, how do we know that we are on the way of life? How do we know we are true disciples? What are some indications that we are on the narrow way leading to the narrow door? There are at least three in the above passage from Luke.
First, to be on the narrow way is to struggle. Jesus says, make every effort (Greek: agonize, contend, strive) to enter through the narrow door. Following Jesus is hard and is supposed to be hard. It is a struggle to live according to His teachings, to rely on grace and not on one's accomplishments. We must live by faith in God's Son and not in success at work, rewarding relationships and entertainment. The One who died for me calls me to die with Him and be raised as a selfless servant of God and others. That's hard. The One who suffered for me calls me to embrace suffering as a way of loving Him and God's primary means of changing me into a better person. That's also hard. The One who limited Himself for me calls me to limit myself and be controled by His Spirit. That's really hard. If our Christian life is not a struggle, perhaps, our life is not so Christian.
Second, to be on the narrow way is to know Jesus. The reason why some people are not allowed through the narrow door is not because they have not been good enough but because Jesus does not recognize them. It is knowledge, not perfection, that is our passport into God's kingdom. Some will claim that they have been near Jesus, heard Him teach and ate and drank with Him, but they never actually met Him. Proximity to Jesus is not the same as knowledge. Does He know us? Do we know Him?
Third, to be on the narrow way is to imitate Jesus. He calls those He rejects evildoers. Not only Jesus has never met them, but even if He did He would not recognize them. They are so unlike Him whom they claim to follow. As we spend time with Jesus and follow His teachings we should look, act, think and feel like He does. Imitation of Christ is another indication that we are on the narrow way.
We walk the narrow way because Jesus walked before us. He is the only reason for our journey. He is the only hope that we can enter through the narrow door at the end of it. I will finish with a rather lengthy quotation from Bonhoeffer. He writes:

“The way is unutterably hard, and at every moment we are in danger of straying from it. If we regard this way as one we follow in obedience to an external command, if we are afraid of ourselves all the time, it is indeed an impossible way. But if we behold Jesus Christ going on before step by step, we shall not go astray. But if we worry about the dangers that beset us, if we gaze at the road instead of at him who goes before, we are already straying from the path. For he is himself the way, the narrow way and the strait gate. He, and he alone, is our journey’s end. When we know that we are able to proceed along the narrow way through the strait gate of the cross, and on to eternal life, and the very narrowness of the road will increase our certainty … The narrow way is bound to be right.”

Following Jesus, Part 5: The Joy of Discipleship

"However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:20)

Jesus teaches His followers that their greatest and most enduring joy must be anchored in God's acceptance. We should not rejoice over our accomplishments as much as we should rejoice over His. It is the fact that we are accepted by God, in Jesus and because of what Jesus accomplished, that should make our lives meaningful. As followers of Jesus, we are in God's Fav Five, we are God's friends on His Facebook home page, we are loved and valued by God.
Anchoring our joy in God's acceptance delivers us from such heavy burdens as pride, insecurity and pretense. Assurance of His love and acceptance brings us such wonderful gifts as humility, confidence and authenticity. As we stop seeking validation through success and focus on the gospel of God's acceptance in Jesus, we will be empowered to accomplish even greater things. We will discover who we really are and pursue what we are really meant to do. We will do all that without the fear of rejection and failure, since our identity will be protected in Christ. G.K. Chesterton said that angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. So can we accomplish greater things if we anchor our joy in God's acceptance in Jesus.

Following Jesus, Part 4: Safe Uncertainty

In the end of the 9th chapter of Luke's Gospel, we find three potential disciples. Each reveals a certain misconception of what following Jesus means. The first one says, "I will follow You wherever You go." He was not called by Jesus and thus does not understand what discipleship entails. He is ready to follow Jesus, yet Jesus' response reveals that he is more committed to what he thinks discipleship is rather than to Jesus Himself. His "wherever" has a certain meaning. "The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head," Jesus says. Birds and foxes have more security and certainty in life than He does. Anyone who wishes to follow Jesus must embrace a life of uncertainty. However, this uncertainty is safe. A disciple does not know what tomorrow is going to bring but he is safe because Jesus will be with him tomorrow as He was yesterday and is today. A follower does not know where he will go next but he is safe because he will be following Jesus. Such is the paradox of safe uncertainty. That is why it is so important to be called by Jesus and not to embark on the journey based on one's own perception of discipleship.
The second man heard the call but said "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father." He thought discipleship could wait. Other things demanded his attention first. Jesus says, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God." Discipleship means a life of unconditional commitment. It is about you, it is about right now, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.
The third man, like the first one, was not called to follow Jesus but came up with the idea on his own. He also came up with some conditions: "I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say good-bye to those at home." Jesus, rather harshly, replied, "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Discipleship means embracing a life of single focus. It is to be pure of heart. A.W. Pink calls this life single focus "godly simplicity".
We don't know whether any of the three became true followers of Jesus. As for us, though, we are called to embrace a life of safe uncertainty, unconditional commitment and single focus.

Following Jesus, Part 3: The Cross of Discipleship

There are a few things that we Evangelicals don’t preach about: pride, sex, money, for example. But the greatest omission, perhaps, is suffering. We have divorced discipleship from suffering, yet Jesus taught that suffering was essential to the follower's life. Historically, Christians embraced this teaching. Augustine writes, “God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer also emphasizes the unbreakable bond of suffering and discipleship. He says,

“Just as Christ is Christ only in virtue of his suffering and rejection, so the disciple is a disciple only in so far as he shares his Lord’s suffering and rejection and crucifixion.”

Bonhoeffer says, “Suffering, then, is the badge of true discipleship.”

Jesus cannot be any clearer: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) In the greater passage, Jesus teaches that denying oneself means to lose one's life, to become a different person, to embrace a new self, and gain a new life. As one does it, she discovers that she did not really know who she really was. She relizes that only now, only in Christ, she is what she was meant to be. The new self that one finds through losing the old self it the real self, the true person, the one God had dreamed up before time began. To become a true disciple of Christ one needs to confess Jesus as the Christ of God (like Peter did) and wholeheartedly embrace the scandal of the Cross. We follow the One who was crucified, so we too must take up our crosses. It is a decision and a daily struggle.

Soren Kierkegaard says, "To suffer rightly is to have a secret with God!” To suffer rightly means to suffer with Jesus, allowing Him to come alongside and help and comfort us. It means to suffer like Jesus with grace and patience. And it means to suffer for Jesus, turning every struggle and difficulty into a means of becoming more like Him and clinging closer to Him.

If one does not embrace suffering, one cannot be called a disciple of the One who suffered on our behalf. Kierkegaard rightly observes, “He who himself does not wish to suffer cannot love him who has.”

Following Jesus, Part 2: The Call to Discipleship

As we discuss discipleship, one question inevitably arises. How does one become a disciple of Jesus? A simple answer is that one needs to respond to Christ's call to discipleship as Levi did in Luke 5. The call to discipleship is gracious and rooted in Divine freedom and authority. Karl Barth says,

“Just because the command of Jesus is the form of the grace that concretely comes to a person, it is issued with all the freedom and sovereignty of grace against which there can be no legitimate objections, of which no one is worthy, for which there can be no preparation, which none can elect, and in face of which there can be no qualifications.”

The call issued by Jesus to Levi is gracious since Levi had no qualifications for becoming a follower of the Messiah. But as Jesus said, He did not come to call the righteous, i.e. those qualified to follow Him, but the sinful. The only prerequisite for discipleship is one's sinfulness. Jesus freely calls Levi and Levi simply obeys Jesus.
Unless we understand the grace of the call to discipleship, we do not understand discipleship. And unless we are amazed by grace, we do not understand grace. To really get it, we need to be surprised, embarrassed, puzzled, freaked out by grace. If I am not surprised that Jesus called me to follow Him, if, on some level, it makes sense that He called specifically me, I really have no idea what grace is. The call is gracious and thus inexplicable and mysterious. It cannot be manufactured but only experienced. Here is what Anne Lamott writes about the wonder of grace:

“It [grace] is unearned love—the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. It’s the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you. Grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there.”

When Jesus calls one to follow Him, there is only one legitimate response. It is obedience. Simple, spontaneous, leave everything, no looking back obedience. We respond to the call by dying to everything around us and being resurrected to the new life in Christ. We accept Jesus as a Mediator, not only between God and man, but between two people, between us and reality, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes. Jesus must be welcomed as the Negotiator between the follower and reality. He must determine our attitudes towards and relationships with all that surrounds the new follower. Barth says that the call to discipleship is a coup d'etat of God. The call forces us to make a choice to either join the Divine rebellion, thus renouncing all our foreign allegiances, or fight against the Divine take over.

Following Jesus, Part 1: Fishing with Jesus

In the 5th chapter of Luke's gospel we find Jesus calling Peter and others to become fishers of men. What is peculiar about this passage is Jesus' use of the metaphor. The Old Testament prophets were quite fond of the metaphor of fishing but used it in the context of judgment. They used it to denote pulling disobedient people out of the chaotic and confusing realm of idolatry and social injustice to be judged by God (Jer. 16:16-18, Amos 4:2, Hab. 1:14-17). Fishing was a metaphor of Divine punishment. In Matthew 13:47-50 Jesus uses the metaphor consistently with the Old Testament, while putting it in the kingdom context. In Luke 5, however, Jesus is not talking about judgment at all. The metaphor is still refering to two different realms: the dark and cold realm of the sea (symbolic of the state without God's presence and rule) and the realm of God's kingdom. The two realms are also emphasized in Col. 1:13, 1 Peter 2:9 and Eph. 5:8. Jesus fishes for Peter and other future disciples. He catches them, like fish, and pulls them out of the darkness into the light. Jesus transfers them into the realm of His kingdom. So, our first lesson about following Jesus has to do with following Him into the realm of His kingdom, being transfered, fished out, pulled into the sphere of His rule. To be a disciple means to live in the realm of His word and His rule.
This passage also teaches us that following Jesus means to assume the mission of fishing others out of the sea of chaos and confusion and transferring them into the kingdom of God. We are not supposed to catch and release them back into the realm of darkness, nor are we supposed to catch them and put them on ice by suffocating them with fear and rules. We are to see people transformed from lovers of self into lovers of God.
So, why can Jesus change the metaphor? Why can He replace the realm of judgment with the realm of His glorious rule? Because He was caught in the Garden of Gethsemane, dragged through the streets of Jerusalem and hooked on the Cross of Golgotha where he suffocated like fish out of water. Jesus went into the realm of confusion and brought clarity, He went into the realm of chaos and brought order, He went into the realm of idolatry and brought true worship.
That's why He can change the metaphor of judgment. And that's why He is right to call us to follow Him.

Gentleness

My five-year old daughter Zoya was arguing with her cousin Eli (also 5 yeas old) about Jesus. It was getting to be a nasty fight. Zoya, who grew up listening to Bible stories and Papa’s sermons (poor kid…), was adamantly defending historicity of Jesus. He really lived, he really died, he really rose from the dead, she was saying. Eli, raised in an agnostic home, said that Jesus was only in one’s heart. Sounds like the Gnostic controversy, doesn’t it? It shows that such issues are obviously important and that you don’t have to be a 74 year old Greek bishop to grasp their importance. After the adults broke the kids up and encouraged them to be nice to each other even if they disagree, Zoya whispered while walking past Eli: “I’m right.”

We encourage our kids to doubt and figure out the faith on their own. Of course, we create an environment that’s conducive to belief and godliness. We don’t brainwash them and will not be signing them up for Jesus Camp anytime soon. And yet, my 5 year old cute little girl has already succumbed to the most grievous fallacy of the Evangelical Church – judgmentalism. Why do we think that truth gives us the right to be inconsiderate and intolerant? Evangelicals are so excited about truth that they have neglected grace. In fact, a lot of us are quite happy to return grace, get a refund and buy more truth. So, instead of promoting truth by grace, we have hidden it with judgmentalism. One of the fruit of the Spirit is gentleness, which is the opposite of judgmentalism. So, if there is no fruit of the Spirit, can we claim that the Spirit is present? Maybe, a radio news flash was right: 75% of churches are without the Holy Spirit. I’d like to see their research data… The worst thing that I realized as we discussed gentleness in our home group was that I am judgmental towards judgmental Christians. Is there hope?

The Suburbs of the Soul

Here is a beautiful passage from Jeremiah Burroughs' book The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment.

"A great man will permit common people to stand outside his doors, but he will not let them come in and make a noise in his closet or bedroom when he deliberately retires from all worldly business. So a well-tempered spirit may enquire after things outside in the world, and suffer some ordinary cares and fears to break into the suburbs of the soul, so as to touch lightly upon the thoughts. Yet it will not on any account allow an intrusion into the private room, which should be wholly reserved for Jesus Christ as his inward temple."

We're on a Mission from God...

Found this clever picture on an emergent site. Finally, my secret love of the Blues Brothers movie is united with my commitment to Missio Dei (God's mission of reconciling the world to Himself). There is no more divide between the secular and the sacred, Christ is all in all.

Patience

Jacques Derrida in an interview said that people by nature are messianic. I think he meant (this is funny: I am interpreting Derrida, or should I say, deconstructing?) that all people live in expectation of something. All of us are looking forward to something happening and live in light of that hope, or fear. Christians, are perhaps the most messianic of all people. Arguably, promises of things to come outnumber things that are already in our possession. Christianity is a faith and we are the faithful. We live by faith that God’s promises will come true. That sort of faith is what God credits to us as righteousness. We are people who have been commissioned to wait. Our decision to wait and trust that God will do what He promised is the defining factor in our lives. Of course, there are many promises that have already come true – most notably, Jesus was born, died and rose from the dead. Those events we no longer expect. However, they contain in themselves promises of things not yet present, or, at least, not to the fullest extent. For example, Jesus’ birth contains a promise of our union with God and an invitation into the divine life of the Trinity. Jesus’ death contains a promise of victory over the Devil and his final judgment, while Jesus’ resurrection is the first fruits of many resurrections to come, as Paul writes. So, our faith may be likened to a pregnancy. The baby has been conceived and is alive with all her potential. However, we are still waiting for the birth. And as any woman who has been pregnant, or her husband, will tell you, patience is a supreme virtue during pregnancy.
Let’s see how this idea of the messianic nature of our faith affects different spheres of life. On a cosmic scale, we are expecting restoration of all things to God, the Creator. We long for our King to return in glory to reward the faithful and vindicate the oppressed. Socially, we relate to people who are not yet mature. We patiently wait for them to grow up, as it were. Of course, we ourselves require others to be patient as well. So, human interaction is kids talking to kids.
Our spiritual experience is no different. We expect the Holy Spirit to show up and change us. We wait for God to reveal His will to us. Realizing that it is God who always makes the first step involves a lot of waiting.
This life of expectancy warrants the conclusion that patience is one of the supreme virtues of the Christian. We may be called the patient as much as we are called the faithful.

Psalm 126

I was reading Psalm 126 this morning. It seems to illustrate the idea of joy as a reaction to God's gracious acts really well. Here is the first half of the psalm:

When the LORD brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter
And our tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us; We are glad.
(Ps.126:1-3)

True joy comes from the realization that the Lord has done great things among us.

More Thoughts on Joy

Last week at the home group meeting we discussed joy. Surprisingly, we had a difficult time defining joy and differentiating it from peace. Here are some thoughts triggered by our discussion.

Joy is a reaction to grace. It is a "He likes me, He really really likes me!" kind of moment. Joy is maintained and enhanced with each new realization of grace and each new attentive act of God towards the person. Not to sound intolerant and arrogant, but it seems to me that Christianity is the only religion with a very well developed doctrine (and practice) of joy. Can someone correct me?

To differentiate peace and joy, perhaps, I can define each in this way. Peace is what happens when you realize that Jesus' acceptance and presence are enough. Joy is what happens when you realize that Jesus' acceptance and presence are too much.

These are pretty raw and need more conversation and thinking. Please, comment!

Storm

It was about 4 o'clock on Thursday. I was sitting at our local Starbucks working on the sermon for Sunday. I started considering heading home since it looked like it might begin to rain. The next moment it got really dark, wet and scary. Everyone inside turned towards the windows and uttered phrases like the deceitfully religious "Oh, my God", the Chicago favorite "Holy Cow" and the ever popular "Wow". The storm hit suddenly and without hesitation. Somehow water was coming down while the wind was blowing outside umbrellas and lawn chairs in various directions. Several trees on the street were brought down within the first gust of wind. Transformers in the alley popped and power went out. All of this happened in the first minute or two. I called Gillian and she said that the two huge trees in front of our house came down and were resting on the power lines. I ran, or, more accurately, swam home as fast as I could. The girls were pretty scared, which is somewhat amusing since one their favorite pretend games is "Blackout" (a close second is "Mom and Dad die and we have to take care of the baby"). The storm was over in about 10-15 minutes. Everyone came outside to see what the damage was. Below are some pictures.

Some Pictures After the Storm

Our front yard. The church building is to the right of the house.

One of our two big trees.

A view from the alley.

The only car that was hit on our street. Our neighbor John took it pretty well.

Wounded Leaders

I recently read Henri Nouwen's book on leadership entitles In the Name of Jesus. It is one of the few books I am certain to read again and one of even fewer books I can recommend without any cautions or reservations (which probably has a lot to do with me being a book snob and rather critical by nature). Henri Nouwen is one of the Christian leaders I look up to and try to emulate. It makes me sad and a little angry that the Evangelical subculture of which I am a part has exalted good speakers, great businessmen and administrators, best-selling authors, and crafty politicians. Those are the people I am often encouraged to follow. I know I am not saying anything new. Everyone knows about the cult of success and the idol of numerical growth. But it is stil disturbing. So, I turn to people like Nouwen to be reminded of God's approved leaders. A lot of them are bad at speaking, like Moses. They are horrible at politics and get in trouble with the government, like the prophets. Their writing style is raw and unpolished, with a possible exception of Paul. But Paul was pretty bad at running organizations. What unites them all is brokenness. They are humble, vulnerable and connected with Christ in suffering. Let's teach that in seminaries... Henri Nouwen left his teaching carreer after 20 years at Notre Dame, Yale and Harvard and became a pastor of Daybreak, a community for mentally handicapped people. Here is how he describes his transition.

“The first thing that struck me when I came to live in a house with mentally handicapped people was that their liking or disliking me had absolutely nothing to do with any of the many useful things I had done until then. Since nobody could read my books, they could not impress anyone, and since most of them never went to school, my twenty years at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard did not provide a significant introduction. My considerable ecumenical experience proved even less valuable. When I offered some meat to one of the assistants during dinner, one of the handicapped men said to me, “Don’t give him meat, he doesn’t eat meat, he’s a Presbyterian.”
Not being able to use any of the skills that had proved so practical in the past was a real source of anxiety. I was suddenly faced with my naked self, open for affirmations and rejections, hugs and punches, smiles and tears, all dependent simply on how I was perceived at the moment. In a way, it seemed as though I was starting my life all over again. Relationships, connections, reputations could no longer be counted on. This experience was and, in many ways, is still the most important experience of my new life, because it forced me to rediscover my true identity. These broken, wounded, and completely unpretentious people forced me to let go of my relevant self – the self that can do things, show things, prove things, build things – and forced me to reclaim that unadorned self in which I am completely vulnerable, open to receive and give love regardless of any accomplishments.”

Awkward Grace

A few days ago, I came across a great statement in Robert Farrar Capon's The Fingerprints of God. It seems to me that he is absolutely correct in his assessment of human nature and tendencies. He says,

The human race, faced with the choice between a gift and a deal, will almost invariably prefer the deal.

God says "I love you" and we respond by trying to justify His love. He offers us His Son and we start looking around the house to see if there is anything we can give Him in return. God sends the Spirit to help us and we say, "Well, maybe we can use a little help, but generally we can manage on our own." The whole idea of God gifting us with something makes us somewhat uncomfortable. Grace is awkward. We'd much rather make a deal with God and keep our end of the bargain than let Him keep both ends. Such is the nature of humanity and the essence of sin. Pride can easily be defined as inability to accept gifts. So, how does God decide to eradicate sin and free us from this overconfidence in our own abilities? Well, He gives us a gift.

Pleasure and Joy

While we often confuse pleasure and joy, the two are alike neither in origin nor effect but only in emotional residue. It is true that pleasure may accompany joy, although greater degrees of joy often appear in the midst of pain and not pleasure. So, joy is independent of pleasure. Likewise, pleasure is often experienced apart from joy. It evokes pleasent emotion but is unable to fill the hollow place where joy once was.
C.S. Lewis said that joy is never in our power but pleasure often is. The greatest difference between pleasure and joy is their respective origins. Pleasure can be manufactured while joy can only be received. I can easily find something to please my tastebuds and make me laugh. However, I can only wait to see if someone will bring joy into my existence. Joy is connected with grace. Pleasure is a product of self.
Once joy is experienced, it cannot be maintained by one's determination. Mark Twain said, "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." To preserve joy, it must be shared or given away. To keep life one must lose it first. No one can be greedy and joyful. However, pleasure is available to all selfish and proud people. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Resurrection Sunday

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!
Victorious over death, sin and Satan, our Savior rose from the dead. There is hope in His resurrection because what is His has become ours and so we share in His glory and victory. Praise Him, the One Who died and rose again!

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday is the day when Christians focus on the absence of Jesus. He was laid in the tomb and that act seemed to have put an end to the whole story of His life and ministry. It brought a certain closure to His disciples. I wonder what they were thinking about on Saturday. They had enough time to deal with the shock of their teacher's arrest, trial and execution, but they still could not figure out why all that had to happen to Him.
Existentially, I can relate to Holy Saturday. I feel like my life now is stuck right in it. A year ago my third daughter was born and quickly diagnosed with Down syndrome. When she was 6 weeks old, we left our home in Kiev and moved to Michigan to care for her and figure out what God had for us next. We also left a new church we had planted and pastored in Kiev. That was my Good Friday. Now, the shock of Polly's birth has gone, we have dealt with our grief for the child we had expected and the ministry we loved and lost. We have gotten healthier and accepted Polly's diagnosis and changes it has brought. We have complained to God and cried. It is my Holy Saturday. I know there will be a Sunday morning. I know there will be a resurrection. But it is still Saturday here. God has not shown to us where He wants us to be and what He wants us to do yet. We are still waiting for Him to bring us back to life.

Good Friday

He wasn't some handsome king. Nothing about the way he looked made him attractive to us.
He was hated and rejected; his life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering. No one wanted to look at him. We despised him and said, "He is a nobody!" He suffered and endured great pain for us, but we thought his suffering was punishment from God. He was wounded and crushed because of our sins; by taking our punishment, he made us completely well. (Isa 53:2-5, CEV)

Maundy Thursday

When I took communion on Maundy Thursday, holding the bread and the cup in my hands, I thought, "Jesus really loves me." He values me more than His own life. He wants to be with me more than He wants to stay alive. No matter how many times I am rejected by others, how many people choose to pursue their own needs instead of helping me with mine and how many of them decide that I am not worth their time, Jesus still loves me.

Wednesday in Holy Week

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb. 12:3)

Father,

Do not let me grow weary and lose heart
When I see opposition to what I perceive to be Your will.
Remind me to compare those opposing me to those who out of envy and hatred killed Your Son.
Bring to my mind Jesus' endurance, patience, obedience and trust in Your will.

Amen

Tuesday in Holy Week

What happened? At some point, we started liking big churches with multiple staff and multi-million dollar budgets. Then we called those churches successful and started cloning them. We began looking for accomplished, well-educated, high-powered and attractive people to be our pastors. We started wanting to look good and successful, so we targeted the middle class. But, what about suffering servants? How about the church being a refuge for the poor and the oppressed? What about diversity, art and creativity? And what about humility?

Monday in Holy Week

I am the LORD, I have called You in righteousness,
I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You,
And I will appoint You as a covenant to the people,
As a light to the nations,
To open blind eyes,
To bring out prisoners from the dungeon
And those who dwell in darkness from the prison. (Isa.42:6,7)

I am becoming more and more convinced that there is a profound connection between our identification with Christ and our identification with the poor, the marginalized and the forgotten. Perhaps, our life and ministry need to be defined in terms of our passion for those in need of our compassion, and not as much in terms of our passion for quiet times, Scripture reading and the like. Action is sacramental and is not to be seen as inferior to the obviously spiritual activities. Nouwen writes the following on the subject of prayer and action:

"Action with and for those who suffer is the concrete expression of the compassionate life and the final criterion of being a Christian. Such acts do not stand beside the moments of prayer and worship but are themselves such moments. Jesus Christ, who did not cling to his divinity, but became as we are, can be found where there are hungry, thirsty, alienated, naked, sick, and imprisoned people. Precisely when we live in an ongoing conversation with Christ and allow his Spirit to guide our lives, we will recognize him in the poor, the oppressed, and the downtrodden, and will hear his cry and respond to it wherever he reveals himself."

Palm Sunday

I wonder why in some Evangelical churches kids get to have palm branches in Sunday School while adults don't? Do we assume that our children need object lessons and something tangible to understand a spiritual truth while we as mature adults can focus on the spiritual without any help? We might be giving ourselves too much credit. Or, maybe, we think adults will be distracted by something as green as a palm branch? I dream of a day when I can be in a crowd of people walking to church all carrying palm branches. I think it will be very cool.

God's Initiative

Part of becoming humble is learning that it is always God's initiative to speak with us. Nouwen writes about it:

"We can close our eyes as tightly as we can and clasp our hands as firmly as possible, but God speaks only when he wants to speak. When we realize this our pressing, pushing, and pulling become quite amusing. Sometimes we act like children who close their eyes and think that they can make the world go away.
After having done everything to make some space for God, it is still God who comes on his own initiative. But we have a promise upon which we base our hope: the promise of his love. So our life can rightly be a waiting in expectation, but waiting patiently and with a smile. Then, indeed, we shall be really surprised and full of joy and gratitude when he comes."

Who Does Jesus Want To Be In His Churches?

The woman said, "I know that the Messiah will come. He is the one we call Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
"I am that one," Jesus told her, "and I am speaking to you now." (John 4:25-26)

As I am reading the Gospel of John, I am once more impressed with Jesus. He is commonly found in the company of the sick, the rejected and the forgotten. In this particular instance, Jesus is revealing His identity as the long-expected Messiah to a promiscuous Samaritan woman. He tells her but keeps it from many others. It seems that Jesus really liked hanging out with the marginalized people. This fact raises the question of what kind of people are in our churches. If Jesus chose to be with the broken, the poor and the disenfranchised, why are we trying so hard to attract the middle-upper-class people, the educated and those who have it all together? Sure, they also need Jesus, but why are we giving them the highest priority? By the way, we do that by planting churches in growing, affluent areas as opposed to poor, falling apart neighborhoods. It is not always the case but seems to be a general trend in evangelical circles.

Patience

Patience is really an extension of humility. It is an admision that my timing may not be the best and my judgment that I need something right now may be wrong. Patience is humbly designating someone else to decide when something needs to happen. Like humility, patience is very difficult to cultivate.

Stretching My Hand Against the Lord's Appointed

David also said, "As the LORD lives, surely the LORD will strike him (Saul), or his day will come that he dies, or he will go down into battle and perish. The LORD forbid that I should stretch out my hand against the LORD'S anointed; but now please take the spear that is at his head and the jug of water, and let us go."(1 Samuel 26:10,11)

Here is the second time David has spared Saul's life. Considering that all of David's problems were caused by King Saul, it hardly seems wise for David not to kill him and avoid all the danger, uncertainty and inconvenience. But David did not want to stop his suffering before God decided to do so. He did not think it his place to kill the Lord's chosen king and left it to Him.
This passage reminds me of this place in Matthew's Gospel:

And behold, one of those who were with Jesus reached and drew out his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and cut off his ear. Then Jesus said to him, "Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword. Or do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels? How then will the Scriptures be fulfilled, which say that it must happen this way?"(Matthew 26:51-54)

Peter tried stopping Jesus' suffering before it was God's time to end it. Jesus was determined to suffer to the extent decided by the Father. So, be way of application, I think that I am sometimes tempted by an opportunity to end whatever difficult time I may be going through. I should be patient to wait until God Himself ends it. Like He did with David and later with Jesus.

Loving the One Who Suffers

Kierkegaard said that he who himself does not wish to suffer cannot love him who has. We can not love Christ if we do not share in His sufferings and identify with Him in pain, humiliation and sorrow. Neither can we rejoice and participate in His Resurrection if we could not weep while He was on the Cross. Most of us have forgotten that the call to discipleship most definitely means suffering. Lent is a reminder of God's limiting Himself to become the lowliest of men and a chance for us to limit ourselves just a little bit to be closer to Jesus.

David and Goliath

The Philistine said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. The Philistine also said to David, "Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the sky and the beasts of the field." Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. "This day the LORD will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you. And I will give the dead bodies of the army of the Philistines this day to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the LORD does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the LORD'S and He will give you into our hands."(1 Samuel 17:43-47)

This may quite possibly be the coolest dialogue in the Bible. "Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?" "You come to with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts..." It is just great.
It is worth mentioning during Lent that David exhibited tremendous confidence in the Lord and remained humble. The Lord was going to defeat Goliath and David simply trusted Him. God prepared David for this battle by giving Him the experience of fighting lions and bears. So, this trust was learned and David's faith proved true in the past.

Mainstream Christianity?

Lately I have been trying to answer this question: Can Christianity be both authentic and mainstream? In other words, can true discipleship happen where there is little opposition and struggle? Maybe, I have been reading Kierkegaard too much. Being counter-cultural seems to be an essential part of being a follower of Jesus. Historically, a case can be made that the Church went into a spiritual decline as soon as it became a dominant faith of a particular society. When becoming a Christian brings social status and material gain, one should hardly expect many people converting simply because of Jesus.

Sinful Lack of Prayer

Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you; but I will instruct you in the good and right way. (1Sa.12:23)

Here Samuel says that he could sin by not praying for Israel. As their spiritual leader, he thought it his responsibility to pray for them. As parents, pastors and people of leadership, we often neglect this priestly function. We sin by not interceding on behalf of the people in our care. It is not only that we should pray for them, we sin if we do not.

Israel's First King

It is interesting that God very openly tells Israel as well as Samuel that it was wrong for Israel to ask for a king. He says that they rejected Him as their King and that it was sinful to ask for a king to be like other nations around them. However, God lets them have a king. More than that, He chooses Saul -- exactly the kind of king Israel wanted. In 1 Samuel 12 God sends rain and thunder to confirm their wickedness of asking for a king and also confirms His commitment to Israel. Samuel encourages Israel to do what is right before God and the Lord promises to take care of His people.

Easy Way Out

So, you figured out that you are really good at something. Good enough that other people notice it. Other people you respect and trust as well as complete strangers. You are good enough at it that it makes you feel accomplished and important. It makes you feel good about yourself. You start thinking you have been given a special gift. It is who you are -- good at this particular thing. It validates you. After a while of being good at something, you realize that you like people's praises too much, that you have let your talent define you a little too much, that you have become proud and selfish. You find yourself doing something really well but for the wrong reason. You may be a great parent but only because you want to be better than other parents. You may be an excellent teacher but only because you love to see yourself toy with people's emotions and show how inadequate their beliefs really are. You may be a great writer but only because you want to hear others tell you that. So, what do you do next? There is a common but easy way out. You quit. You say, "I don't want to do this for my own glory, so I will give it up altogether." You make this big sacrifice for God, so that He gets the glory. Except that He does not get any glory if you quit. The hard thing to do, which I also think is the right thing, is to keep using this gift of yours, do something really well (well enough for others to notice and make you feel really good about yourself), and yet do it for the right reason. Use your gift humbly. Pursue your talent, work on it and become great. Realize God's dreams about you. But do it for Him and don't take any glory for yourself. Oh, it is hard. But so are most worthwhile things in life.

Lord,

Help me avoid pride when I succeed and despair when I fail.
Teach me to be humble and grateful.

Amen

Prayer

This is a selection from today's reading by Henri Nouwen:

"Prayer heals. Not just the answer to prayer. When we give up our competition with God and offer God every part of our heart, holding back nothing at all, we come to know God's love for us and discover how safe we are in His embrace. Once we know again that God has not rejected us, but keeps us close to his heart, we can find again the joy of living, even though God might guide our life in a different direction from our desires."

Isn't it true that in prayer we become peaceful and stop worrying, even though our problems have not been solved? Prayer heals. But only if we give up our competition with God. What a great phrase to describe pride.

It Is the Lord

Then Eli called Samuel and said, "Samuel, my son." And he said, "Here I am." He said, "What is the word that He spoke to you? Please do not hide it from me. May God do so to you, and more also, if you hide anything from me of all the words that He spoke to you." So Samuel told him everything and hid nothing from him. And he said, "It is the LORD; let Him do what seems good to Him."(1 Samuel 3:16-18)

After Samuel was called by God and given a prophetic word, he is afraid to tell it to the old priest Eli. God revealed to Samuel that He has determined to punish Eli's family for the terrible sins his sons had been committing. Finally, Eli persuaded Samuel to tell him the prophecy. Here comes the amazing part. Eli does not get angry with God or Samuel but says, "It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him." Eli was a good priest who could not control his children. But he trusted God. Even in punishment he trusted the Lord. Eli says, 'He is God, after all, and He knows best." That is a whole new level of faith in the wisdom and goodness of God.

Solitude

Perhaps, one of the greatest benefits of giving up TV for Lent is the increased opportunity for solitude. Of course, solitude is a foreign concept in our household inhabited by three little girls. One of them has taken a vow of unceasing talking, it seems. But more time of reflection and quiet brings more interaction with Jesus. I am not one to claim that Jesus is only met in solitude. I have come to realize that some of the more memorable theophanies happen in the midst of action that is quite contrary to contemplation. However, it is undeniably true that Jesus comes to meet his follower one on one. Here are two of my observations. First, I have noticed that I am uncomfortable with being one on one with Jesus. I try to fill my time with many things (if not TV at this time) to not be alone with him. It shows my inhibition to learn things about Jesus or myself that I would rather leave unknown. Perhaps, my whole addiction to entertainment can be explained by that fear. Secondly, I have learned many new things about myself during those encounters. Jesus shows me who I really am and what I could become. It is scary and hopeful all at once. Here is a wonderful quote from Bishop Kallistos Ware: "Who is God? Who am I? To both these questions Jesus Christ gives us the answer." More often than not this answer comes to us in solitude.

Favorite Verse

As I was reading 2 Peter tonight I came across verse 22 in the second chapter which is a quote from Proverbs 26:11. It reminded me of one of my professors at Moody (a closet Lutheran, really). When he was going to be baptized as a young man, his pastor asked him if he wanted to share his "life verse". Luckily for the pastor, he declined. My professor's favorite verse was the same one Peter quoted: "A dog returns to its own vomit."

Suffering

Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right. (1 Peter 4:19 NASB)

Some may be surprised to find these words written by Peter. It may sound odd to some that suffering is according to God’s will. To be sure, not all suffering is God’s will as Peter explains a bit earlier in the chapter. But he is very clear that God wills suffering. If one suffers as a Christian, she should not be embarrassed or ashamed but rather glorify God. There have been many admirers of Jesus that are content to let Him die on their behalf while finding it preposterous that they themselves should suffer in the slightest degree. There have even been some teachers who have taken suffering off the Christian’s To Do List and added it to the list of The Things To Avoid At All Cost along with poverty and bad haircuts. They have mistaken smiles for joy and arrogance for faith. By removing suffering out of the Christian life they have made it nearly impossible for one to become Christ’s disciple. They have taken Christ off the Cross because they find it awkward to admire a man who suffers. So they will remain His admirers at best but will never become His followers. To follow Jesus is to suffer. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “suffering is the fruit of an exclusive allegiance to Jesus Christ.” Suffering is essentially Christian. There are many benefits to suffering that make a true disciple rejoice and glorify God. One such benefit is that suffering is a sign of authenticity. When we look at something beautiful, like a piece of jewelry, we are likely to doubt its authenticity if there are no scratches or scrapes. If it looks perfect, it may be too perfect to be real. If a Christian has not suffered she may not be a true disciple but only an admirer of Jesus. Scratches, scrapes and scars prove that we are real, that we live and follow Him who was bruised and broken. Those marks do not make a piece of jewelry any less valuable or perfect just like suffering does not make one any less of a Christian. On contrary, such scratches add value to jewelry. If one looks close enough she will see that they are not random scratches but an elaborate engraving made by the hand of a master craftsman.

The Trinity's Child

To God's people who are scattered like foreigners in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia. God the Father decided to choose you as his people, and his Spirit has made you holy. You have obeyed Jesus Christ and are sprinkled with his blood. (1 Peter 1:1-2 CEV)

With these words Peter starts his letter to the new Christian community. It is one of the more obviously trinitarian passages in Scripture and is here for a good reason. Peter writes about the new people, the new priestly race, the new royal family which is the Church. So, before he talks about this new community, it only makes sense to point to its origin: the Trinity, the Divine Community of Love. The Church is in some way an extension of the interaction among the Divine Persons and is modeled after the Trinity. The Church is the Trinity's child and all Three Persons were involved in her birth.

Conversion

One of our gravest mistakes is assuming that conversion only happens once in a lifetime. To be sure, there is often an identifiable initial conversion -- the time we turn to God for the first time. But it is only one in a great number. Sometimes the first conversion gives us a sense of false security. When faced with a choice between God and self, we promptly remind ourselves that we have already made that decision. Such realization quiets our convicting heart and enables the heart's default setting: love of self. Our existence is a series of choices, all opportunities for conversion. However, if choices are not acknowledged as such they become tiny agents of death and occupy the soul one at a time until the soul is dead and no longer convertable. Those choices, though various in circumstances and intensity, are one. As Didache puts it, "There are two ways, one of life and one of death; and between the two ways there is a great difference". Chose to love God and forsake self, choose humility, choose to love your neighbor, and you come alive. Choose to pity yourself, choose pride, choose to please yourself, and you die. During Lent the choice is more evident than ever. Maybe, that is why Nouwen calls it the forty days of conversion.

Israel, I can't let you go.

When Israel was a child, I loved him, and I called my son out of Egypt. But as the saying goes, "The more they were called, the more they rebelled." They never stopped offering incense and sacrifices to the idols of Baal. I took Israel by the arm and taught them to walk. But they would not admit that I was the one who had healed them. I led them with kindness and with love, not with ropes. I held them close to me; I bent down to feed them. But they trusted Egypt instead of returning to me; now Assyria will rule them. War will visit their cities, and their plans will fail. My people are determined to reject me for a god they think is stronger, but he can't help. Israel, I can't let you go. I can't give you up. How could I possibly destroy you as I did the towns of Admah and Zeboiim? I just can't do it. My feelings for you are much too strong. Israel, I won't lose my temper and destroy you again. I am the Holy God-- not merely some human, and I won't stay angry. I, the LORD, will roar like a lion, and my children will return, trembling from the west. They will come back, fluttering like birds from Egypt or like doves from Assyria. Then I will bring them back to their homes. I, the LORD, have spoken! Israel is deceitful to me, their loyal and holy God; they surround me with lies, and Judah worships other gods. (Hosea 11 CEV)

What a great passage! It is such a powerful metaphor for God's relationship with us. This chapter is full of anguish and despair of a rejected parent and yet it so clearly shows His commitment to His people. He really does loves us like a mother loves her child.

Love Hurts

"Come, let us return to the LORD. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him." (Hosea 6:1,2)

The book of Hosea is both a very depressing and an immensely uplifting book. It shows God's boundless love towards His people like that of a husband who keeps taking his unfaithful wife back again and again. But His love is only as deep as our rejection of it is remiss. We flippantly ignore His loving words and sacrifices He has made for us. We leave at night only to return in the morning sick and exhausted. We take it for granted that He will be there waiting for us and will drop everything to clean us up, undress us and put us to bed. And so His love deepens with every such return. However, God's love has another mind-boggling expression, one that we often do not want to associate with love. It is precisely because He loves us that He is willing to hurt us. He will inflict pain on us (and on Himself in the process) to heal us, to make us whole, so that we may stay in His presence and not just occasionally return to Him. It is as much if not more of an expression of God's love as His continuous forgiveness and patience. He loves us enough that He is willing to hurt us. A.W. Tozer made a profound, albeit a very disturbing, statement: "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply”. It is paradoxical but so is God and most of our faith.

Joy

Mercy

The LORD God has told us what is right and what he demands: "See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and humbly obey your God." (Micah 6:8 CEV)

As I learn about humility and seek to humble myself before God during Lent, concepts like compassion and mercy seem to come up a lot. Yeah, I have always thought compassion is a Christian thing and mercy is a virtue. But why is it so unnatural for me to be concerned about others? Why is so hard to even imagine that mercy might become my first concern? Yet, God is really into mercy and compassion. He really wants me to "love mercy" (NIV) as I walk humbly before Him. Mercy seems to be a necessary byproduct of humility. Or, is humility just a prerequisite of mercy? So, if I am not compassionate and mercy is not my first concern, I am not that far along in my spiritual journey. If I am really being transformed by the Spirit into the Son's image, than I should pick up on some of those Divine traits. Micah 7:18 says that God is glad to have pity (CEV) or delights to show mercy (NIV). Lord, change me into a person who delights to show mercy.

The Memory of God's Abundant Goodness

They shall eagerly utter the memory of Your abundant goodness and will shout joyfully of Your righteousness. (Ps.145:7)

As I was preparing to speak at one of our supporting churches, I found this verse in a psalm. I am reminded again of the importance of spiritual memory. We need to remember and tell others (like our children) of God's interventions, blessings and even miracles. When we come to the next trial it is good to remember that God saw us through the previous one. God told the Israelites to gather a pile of stones to remind them of the miraculous crossing of Jordan. Jesus told us to eat bread and drink wine in rememberance of Him. We are forgetful people and God knows that we need reminders. Lord, let us keep and proclaim the memory of Your abundant goodness.

Followers

"Christ comes to the world as the example, constantly enjoining: Imitate me. We humans prefer to adore him instead." (Soren Kierkegaard)

Kierkegaard draws a clear distinction between followers and admirers of Christ. It seems that for him true discipleship means imitation of Christ's life while common admiration is nothing but an adherence to Jesus' teachings without conforming one's life to them. He gives an example of an audience at a theatrical performance admiring a particular actor from the safety and comfort of their seats. It seems to me that it takes much more than one's resolve to become a true disciple of Jesus. It must take a Divine intrusion into our nature to turn admirers into followers. To be more specific, the Holy Spirit must transform us into true disciples of the Man or Sorrows. So, here is my prayer.

Jesus,

It is easy for me to admire You from afar.
It is only natural for me to adore you from a safe distance.
But I do not want to remain Your admirer. I want to be like You in Your suffering and Your victory alike. I want to respond to Your call to true discipleship and embrace risk, sacrifice and pain. I humbly ask Your Holy Spirit to transform me from an admirer into a follower.

Amen

Rewarding Humility

Humility as a condition of one's heart and its expression in service to others are not heavy burdens. The way of imitation of our Lord is one of joy and fulfillment. Here lies one of the greatest paradoxes of our faith: by giving we receive, by becoming poor we obtain riches, by becoming humble we are exalted. As Nouwen points out in today's Lenten reading, a life of service is rewarding. He says,

"Joy and gratitude are the qualities of the heart by which we recognize those who are committed to a life of service in the path of Jesus Christ.... Wherever we see real service we also see joy, because in the midst of service a divine presence becomes visible and a gift is offered. Therefore, those who serve as followers of Jesus discover that they are receiving more than they are giving. Just as a mother does not need to be rewarded for the attention she pays to her child because her child is her joy, so those who serve their neighbor will find their reward in the people whom they serve. The joy of those who follow the Lord on his self-emptying and humbling way shows that what they seek is not misery and pain but the God whose compassion they have felt in their own lives: their eyes do not focus on poverty and misery, but on the face of the loving."

Raya's Prayers

Here is an incredible example of faith and perseverance in prayer from our friend Raya. She and her husband have been caring for and trying to adopt two little babies abandoned by their mother in a Kiev hospital. Raya has checked into the hospital herself to stay with Vera (Faith in English) and make sure she receives adequate attention after her surgery. She is in the room with three or four other rejected babies. One family decided not to keep their newborn because of some medical concerns including a spinal hernia. The father said he would divorce his wife if she did not give up the baby. For several days Raya prayed for the parents to change their minds and come visit their child. Finally, the mother came. She decided to keep her little girl whatever it may mean for her marriage. So, it looks like Raya prayed that baby right into her mother’s arms. God does listen and He can change a mother’s heart.

Compassion

As Christians focus on humility during Lent, they are drawn to emulate Jesus whose humility is perhaps most striking in the manger and on the cross. Both the Incarnation and the Crucifixion of our Lord stand as supreme examples of humility. Both inspire us to stoop lower, to give more and to not grasp what we think we are entitled to hold. Underlying both of the above manifestations of utter Divine humility is unreserved Divine compassion. Jesus became human because He loved us enough to want to share in our pain. He trampled death by death and gave us life that we desired but could not obtain. As we emulate His humility we must emulate His compassion. Here is what Nouwen says about compassion in today's reading:

"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human..."

King of Righteousness and Peace

In the 7th chapter of Hebrews, Jesus is compared to Melchizedek and called king of righteousness and king of peace. What a combination! He is king, in control, ruling over His creation. He is the kind of king who can bring about peace but does that by setting things right, by establishing justice and order.

Strong and Weak

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

This must be one of the most profound and beautiful passages in Scripture. I have come back to these verses over and over again and been encouraged and strengthened by their meaning. God is powerful enough to give us mercy and grace in the very moment we need it the most. He is strong enough to help us not give up but persevere and overcome doubt and struggle with sin. However, God is not only strong but He has become weak. Jesus, the God-Man, our high priest, has been tempted in all things and struggled with things we struggle with. In His assumed weakness He understands us. He identifies with us in the deepest possible way since He became one of us. We can never say to God, “You just don’t understand what I am going through” or “You can’t imagine how hard it is”. Jesus understands what I am going through and He knows how hard it is because He became weak like me. He gets me.
So, I draw near with confidence to the throne of the God who is both strong and weak. He is merciful and gracious. He welcomes me in my time of need.

Gillian's Birthday

Today is Gillian’s birthday. Happy Birthday, buddy!
Sometimes I think how naive we are expecting to find someone to love and be loved back. And if that is not ridiculous enough, we also think this loving/loving back exchange can last a pretty long while. We take it for granted that someone might like us enough to want to be around us most of the time. Some of us may even harbor the notion that we are entitled to being loved by another human being. How silly is it to think that you can be completely open with someone and not get rejected! How strange is the idea of being so close with another person that I am no longer I but have become part of we! And yet, I love someone and she loves me back. I may not be as excited about birthday parties (in fact, today I have realized that Gillian thinks I am utterly incapable of throwing a surprise birthday party), but I am really excited about Gillian. The day of your birth is worth celebrating. Oh, yeah, the kids are pretty thrilled about your existence, too.

TV

I am enjoying a TV-free life. I have had a number of periods of time in my life when I did not watch any television and like before I am amazed how big of a difference it makes. It is not just that I have more time, although it is true. It also brings some sort of peace. I am more likely to do certain things now. For example, I took a bath a couple of nights ago. While it may not be the manliest thing to do but it is in line with a peaceful, contemlative lifestyle. Desribing the discipline of contemplation someone suggested that one should take a bath for God. The idea is that we need to do simple, peaceful things with God in mind and for His glory. Incidently, I did have a peaceful time of prayer and listening to God in the bath and am not embarassed by it. I doubt it could happen while watching Law & Order:SVU. At least, not to me.

Following His Presence

And He said, "My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest." Then he said to Him, "If Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from here.” (Ex.33:14-15)

Humility is submission to God. But it is even more than subjecting yourself to God’s will. Humility is subjecting yourself only to God’s will. It is obeying God and no one else. It is having no other gods before Him. Like Moses, we need to say, “If You don’t go with us, we don’t want to go.” We should only want to be where God is and go where He leads us. We should forsake all our plans and ambitions that have not come from God. Let us not go and expect God’s presence to go with us, but rather go where His presence goes. And He will give us rest – complete contentment and peace.

Christ's Humility

Augustine said the following about Christ's himulity:
"The Word of the Father, by whom all time was created, was made flesh and was born in time for us. He, without whose divine permission no day completes its course, wished to have one day for His human birth. In the bosom of His Father He existed before all the cycles of ages; born of an earthly mother, He entered upon the course of the years on this day.
The Maker of man became man that He, Ruler of the stars, might be nourished at the breast; that He, the Bread, might be hungry; that He, the Fountain, might thirst; that He, the Light, might sleep; that He, the Way, might be wearied by the journey; that He, the Truth, might be accused by false witnesses; that He, the Judge of the living and the dead, might be brought to trial by a mortal judge; that He, Justice, might be condemned by the unjust; that He, Discipline, might be scourged with whips; that He, the Foundation, might be suspended upon a cross; that Courage might be weakened; that Security might be wounded; that Life might die.
To endure these and similar indignities for us, to free us, unworthy creatures, He who existed as the Son of God before all ages, without a beginning, deigned to become the Son of Man in these recent years. He did this although He who submitted to such great evils for our sake had done no evil and although we, who were the recipients of so much good at His hands, had done nothing to merit these benefits."

The Exodus Pattern

Reading through Exodus I am starting to make sense of some of those "boring" chapters. There are several chapters devoted to property laws, treatment of slaves and appropriate degree of punishment for various offences (of course, not as detailed as Leviticus). It is interesting that those chapters come after Israel has been delivered from Egypt and seem to be God's way of teaching His people how to live as a redeemed people. So, the emerging pattern is redemption first, instruction second. Israel experienced God's power and is now expected to live under God's rule. God has credibility and authority in Israel's eyes, so it is only natural that they accept His instruction in the new and better lifestyle.
We are prone to reverse this sequence. We expect people unfamiliar with Christ to first learn to live like a Christian promising that manifestations of God's power will follow. It does sometimes happen this way, but more often then not God's redemptive power remains but a hollow promise. We argue with them that our faith is logical and believable, that the Christian lifestyle is the safest one, that they need to believe what the Bible say, etc. What if we just invited them to participate in our life and witness and experience God's redemptive power? What if we relied on God to redeem them before we start reforming them? In other words, what if we put evangelism before discipleship? God needs to become credible before they will follow His instructions.

Abandonement

In today’s reading Henri Nouwen quotes Charles de Foucauld’s prayer of abandonment. He prays, “…I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands, without reserve and with boundless confidence.” What a beautiful way to describe the central ambition of the Christian life! Our surrender into God’s hands must be without reserve and with boundless confidence, or it is no surrender at all. As Paul admonishes us, we must consider ourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus (Rom.6:11). One cannot die while reserving some life. Death is complete, final, irreversible. And so should our abandonment into God’s hands be. Except that we surrender ourselves with boundless confidence that we will find life in God. And not just any life but a life that is authentic and meaningful. It is the kind of life that makes death excusable and worthwhile. I pray that the Holy Spirit will cultivate this holy ambition in my heart to abandon myself into God’s hands without reserve and with boundless confidence.

Moses, Aaron and Hur

As I read through Exodus (and I am really enjoying it) this passage once again got my attention.
Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. (Ex.17:10-13)

As someone who participated in an Eastern Orthodox wedding ceremony and had to hold a crown over the groom’s head for about an hour, I understand the difficulty Moses must have had in keeping his arms up. As a Christian trying to live in obedience to my Lord, I understand how extremely difficult it is to be victorious in this pursuit. Only a fool believes that he will succeed in the Christian life apart from the community of other disciples. And even a greater fool thinks he can lead others to victory without other believers supporting and leading him. As much as I affirm the personal element of our faith – personal commitment to Jesus, personal spiritual disciplines and such – it must be complimented by participation in community. None of us can keep our hands raised all day long. We need someone to fetch a rock so we can sit down and someone else to support our arms while the battle is still going. Our family has been part of a small group in our church. In the short few months that we have been meeting together, there has already been a lot of rock moving and hand propping. And, I like to think, a couple victories.

The Descending Way

Here is a selection from today’s lenten reading by Henri Nouwen.

“The love of God has become visible in Jesus. How is that love made visible through Jesus? It is made visible in the descending way. That is the great mystery of the Incarnation. God has descended to us human beings to become a human being with us; and once among us, descended to the total dereliction of one condemned to death. ... God’s way can be grasped only in prayer. The more you listen to God speaking with you, the sooner you will hear that voice inviting you to follow the way of Jesus. For Jesus’ way is God’s way and God’s way is not for Jesus only but for everyone who is truly seeking God. Here we come up against the hard truth that the descending way of Jesus is also for us to find God. Jesus doesn’t hesitate for a moment to make that clear.”

What strikes me about the Incarnation is that Jesus did not simply become human but the lowest of humans. Jesus is not only the meeting point for God and people but He is the meeting point for God and any person. In Him all people can find God because He has descended low enough to reach everyone. If Jesus only descended to the position of an earthly king, than He would have saved kings but not beggars and lepers. He descended all the way, emptied Himself, so we could be filled with God. We are called to this descending way. We are called to this incarnational life. To be close to God is to be close to Jesus. Where is Jesus? He is rejected by all, without home, being murdered by enemies and betrayed by friends. That is where you meet Him – on the descending way.

Faith

What is faith if not a response to God's word? It is not surprising that in some liturgies the Creed comes right after the sermon. God speaks and we answer with "I believe". Faith is listening to God speak, accepting His words as truth and anticipating their fulfilment. Faith is going forth, moving forward on the sole basis of God's word. Having faith means leaving without knowing where God is leading you, because we heard Him call us. Like Abraham, we leave but not arrive. We leave a place where our words are remembered and head somewhere where our words may matter again. In between, there remains only God's word of promise which sustains us during the whole journey. Faith, as it turns out, is not the absence of doubt but responding to God's word in spite of doubt, in spite of fear and in spite of failure. Even, in spite of unbelief. Faith is much more about obedience than knowledge which is why Kierkegaard said, "It is so hard to believe because it is so hard to obey."
About a week ago I heard from our friends in Kiev. Igor and Raya heard God's word and responded in faith. They are adopting twin baby girls who were abandoned by their mother in the hospital. Having heard about the babies from her cousin, Raya heard God saying, "These are your children." They have responded in faith in spite of the doctors saying one of the girl's brain may have been damaged during delivery and if she makes it at all she will likely have serious developmental problems. They have responded to God's word in spite of the cultural stigma against adoption and notoriously long and confusing legal process. They already have three girls of their own and are considered a big family by Ukrainians. Igor has been praying for a boy and now God gives him two more girls. They don't have money or enough space in their two bedroom apartment. But they have faith in God's word spoken to them. Oh, yes, they named the girls Faith and Hope.

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is about repentance. We turn away from sin and embrace the Gospel. We put a cross of ash on our foreheads (figuratively or literally) and acknowledge that we are dust and live only by God's breath. In most cases, make-up conceals what we really look like, however, this ashen cross reveals who we really are -- desperate beggars for God's mercy. Henri Nouwen warns us about being so overwhelmed by our sinfulness that we get paralyzed by guilt, unable to receive God's mercy and be renewed in His love. Repentance is not about death but life. Just as joy is unleashed by suffering, so hope is conceived by repentance. I must live in the aura of God's mercy. I cannot give into the calm of sin's oppression and the pride of refusing help. Rather, I should celebrate God's mercy with the exuberance of a liberated slave.

Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent. This is my third year of observing Lent and I look forward to it. I find it to be a significant time of reflection, discipline and deeper identification with Christ. It helps me to prepare for and celebrate Easter in a much more profound way. This year I decided to give up a few things: watching TV, eating sweets, fast food, drinking pop and alcoholic beverages, etc. I am also adding a few disciplines: reading Scripture in the morning and in the evening (Exodus and Hebrews, for sure), following Henri Nouwen's "Show Me the Way (Daily Lenten Readings)", speaking in a more edifying way with my wife, reading Bible stories to my girls every night, etc. I also want to try to journal/blog during Lent. We will see what insights and changes God will bring about before Easter.